Warning Signs
Grooming can happen online or in person. It often starts with attention and trust, then gradually introduces secrecy, pressure, and boundary testing. One sign alone does not prove grooming, but patterns matter.
If something feels off, trust that feeling and check the Get Help page for clear next steps. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
In-person Warning Signs
They try to be alone with you or separate you from friends and supports
They blur boundaries too quickly (too personal, too physical, too intense)
They use gifts, favours, or “special” treatment to create obligation
They test your reactions with uncomfortable jokes, comments, or touch
They discourage you from talking to trusted adults
Online Warning Signs
They push you for private messages, disappearing chats, or a new app
They ask for secrecy or say “don’t tell anyone”
They give intense compliments or attention very quickly
They ask for photos or videos, especially anything sexual or private
They pressure you to meet up, share your location, or move fast
Pressure and control
They use guilt, jealousy, or anger to control what you do
They create urgency: “do this now” or “prove it”
They threaten consequences if you say no or tell someone
They make you feel responsible for their feelings or safety
They switch between kindness and intimidation
What grooming can sound like
“You’re mature for your age.”
“No one understands you like I do.”
“This is our secret.”
“If you tell, you’ll get in trouble.”
“Prove you trust me.”
Healthy relationships do not rely on secrecy, pressure, or fear.
If you notice these signs
If you notice one sign, pause and check in with yourself. If you notice a pattern, consider reaching out. You do not need proof to ask for help.
You can talk to a trusted adult at school, contact a support service, or call 911 in an emergency.
For caregivers and school staff
If a young person may be experiencing grooming, prioritize safety and emotional support. Listen calmly, avoid blaming questions, and do not pressure them to share details. Reassure them they did the right thing by speaking up. Focus on immediate safety needs, document concerns factually if required by your role, and connect the youth to appropriate supports through school and community pathways. If there is immediate danger, contact emergency services.
